If your wallet feels lighter after every brunch, weekend getaway or group gift, you might be a victim of what finance experts call “friendflation.”
“[Friendflation] is the inflation of your social spending, when peer-driven expectations raise your lifestyle costs, often stealthily. Over time, dinners, vacations, celebrations, and shared experiences become baseline norms rather than indulgences,” Mike Coady, a Dubai-based independent financial advisor told Lana in an exclusive interview.
“Over the past decade, it’s become more noticeable thanks to a convergence of rising cost of living, mobile payments, and social media, making expensive norms feel more accessible and expected,” Coady explained adding that professionals and expats between the age of 20-40 are “often hardest hit.”
And unlike regular inflation that squeezes your grocery bill and rent, ‘friendflation’ targets the discretionary side of life – the part that’s supposed to be fun.
‘Friendflation’ explained: What’s actually driving the spending spiral
The culprits are familiar: dining out at restaurants, weekend getaways, concerts and events, milestone celebrations from birthdays to weddings, and those lifestyle additions that somehow became non-negotiable, like upgraded cocktails and premium transport options.
But here’s the thing. “These don’t just go up in price: they go up in frequency and expectation, which amplifies the effect,” Coady said.
Echoing the sentiment, Carol Glynn – Chartered Accountant, Coach, and the founder of Conscious Finance Coaching – said the phenomenon causes “a shift of spending priorities from long-term goals to short-term social validation,” especially when the individual is running in the “wrong” circles.
“When your friends’ priorities are expensive outings, holidays or always being on top of the next big trends, people often feel pressured to match their friends’ lifestyles – even if that means dipping into savings, delaying investments or even worse, relying of debt to fund it all,” Glynn said.
As Coady mentioned earlier, ‘friendflation’ mostly affects expats and professionals in their 20s to 40s due to rising incomes, expansion of social networks, and the “pressure to belong.”
“People in client-facing, “networking-heavy” industries (finance, consulting, media) feel it most, because social engagements often double as career fuel. Families also feel it, school events, playdates, birthday parties, all come with social cost expectations,” he added.
This is why communication is “essential” to navigate such expenses, Glynn advised. “Couples should agree on shared financial priorities so one partner doesn’t feel they’re always the “bad guy” for saying no,” she said.
So, what are the warning signs you’re in trouble?
The real danger of ‘friendflation’ isn’t just the dent in your wallet – it’s how quietly it creeps in.
Most people don’t notice it happening until their budget feels permanently stretched and the joy of socialising turns into anxiety. What starts as an occasional indulgence slowly morphs into an unspoken obligation. So, here are some “red flags” to identify, according to Coady:
- You can’t explain why your savings haven’t grown in months.
- You regularly overspend beyond your “fun money” budget.
- You absorb social costs by skipping or scaling other essentials.
- You dread looking at your bank app after weekends.
- You start avoiding invites or saying “no” more than “yes.”
If any of that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. And here’s how to fight ‘friendflation’ without losing your friends.
Set a boundary while inviting connection, say UAE experts
The solution isn’t becoming a hermit. Both experts agree on that. It’s about getting ahead of the conversation instead of letting your wallet do the talking after the fact. Coady suggests pre-framing your budget.
Tell your friends: “Here’s my social budget this month, let’s pick something within it,” he advised, adding that proposing alternatives is also a healthy way to “lead the conversation.”
Coffee instead of dinner. Daytime events instead of nights out. Split tickets to that concert. Rotate between months where you spend more and months where you pull back. These are some of the ways one can set “boundaries with style,” according to Coady.
The honesty bit is crucial, according to both experts. Don’t make excuses or ghost your friends. Just say it plainly. “I’m prioritising a financial goal right now, so I’m scaling back on some social costs,” is Coady’s suggested script.
Glynn, however, recommended keeping the focus on yourself, not criticising how others spend. “I’d love to join but I’m watching my spending this month because I am saving for a house deposit/trip/paying off my debt. I really want to spend time with you so could we plan something more low-key?”
“You set a boundary while inviting connection. When one person starts these conversations, others often feel relieved and follow suit,” she explained adding that most people appreciate honesty more than we think.
However, there is the small disadvantage of the effect of what is considered “luxury” on social media.
Coady said social media constantly reframes what counts as everyday luxury. Every image is curated. You’re comparing your behind-the-scenes reality to everyone else’s highlight reel.
“Social platforms constantly reframe what “normal luxury” looks like. Every image is curated, so we compare our behind-scenes to others’ highlight reels. That comparison bias fuels ‘friendflation’. The more you consume it, the more your baseline resets upward,” Coady said.
So, is this just lifestyle inflation with better marketing?
Sort of, but not quite, according to Glynn who calls it “lifestyle inflation with a social twist.”
Traditional lifestyle inflation happens when your spending rises with your income. You get a raise; you upgrade your flat. ‘Friendflation’ is different. It’s spending more to maintain belonging, regardless of whether your income has budged.
“It’s less about wanting more and more about not wanting to be left out. People who are unsure of their values system or feel insecure in themselves are more at risk of falling into this trap. The emotional driver is often more about belonging than status, but status plays a part for some,” Glynn said.
And while both men and women deal with this, the pressure lands differently. Glynn said women often experience ‘friendflation’ more emotionally because social connection is central to how many nurture relationships.
“In countries like the UAE, where socialising is such a major part of solidifying connection, but it can be lavish and public, there’s also cultural pressure to “keep up”, particularly among expats who are trying to build community. Men do feel similar pressure, but the focus can often also be on status and displays of success,” she said.
Financial education is the solution
Glynn advised that being financial educated is one of the best defences to combat ‘friendflation’. When you understand how money works and connect that knowledge to your values and life goals, saying no becomes easier.
“Financial education helps people create boundaries rooted in knowledge and self-awareness. When you understand how money works and link that to your own values and priorities, and your goals for your life, it becomes easier to say “no” when you can’t afford something or when it’s not in line with your own goals. Education also demystifies money. You learn the long-term cost of short-term choices, but without the shame that comes with not being able to ‘keep up’’,” Glynn said.
For couples, while communication is key, Glynn explained partners need to talk about what matters versus what feels performative. Create a joint social fund – a set monthly amount both partners agree on for social activities. That way, decisions come from the budget, not from friction.
Glynn said workplaces need to be mindful too. Not everyone on the team has the same disposable income, and organising social events that are inclusive – financially and culturally – builds genuine connection instead of resentment.
“Simple gestures like covering group meals or offering optional participation can go a long way in making employees feel comfortable,” Glynn said.
Budget apps, social funds, and a shift in mindset among tools to tackle ‘friendflation’
Budget apps are also an option to consider, according to Coady, as they turn friction into structure.
“If you automate a “social fund” monthly, you only spend what’s allocated. If your app flags when you’re overspending in the social category, you enforce limits before regret sets in. Integrating those tools with your goals (travel fund, education, investment) helps maintain perspective,” he said.
However, here is the frustrating bit: there’s limited formal data on ‘friendflation’s’ economic impact. But Glynn said you can see its fingerprints everywhere – rising personal debt, unpaid credit card balances, reduced savings rates despite stable incomes.
Surveys on financial stress often point to social pressure as a driver of overspending, even if they don’t call it by name, she explained.
Left unchecked, ‘friendflation’ “erodes” wealth quietly, according to Coady. “Less capital for investing, more revolving debt, delayed goals (home, retirement, education). The psychological toll is also real: guilt, stress, social fatigue,” he said.
Glynn said the real solution requires a mindset shift, which doesn’t mean spending less, but spending consciously.
“When friendships are rooted in genuine connection, they’ll adapt. Rather than simply turning down invites and risking friends feeling rejected or confused, instead let them know you have had a change in spending goals and suggest alternatives that align with your budget and your values. Remember, protecting your financial wellbeing isn’t selfish – it’s self-respect,” Glynn said.
In addition, Glynn said people are getting creative out of necessity. Home dinners. Walks. Picnics. Free events. The focus is shifting from where you meet to why you meet.
“Friendships based on shared values rather than shared spending are far more sustainable,” Glynn said. “The most powerful antidote to toxic ‘friendflation’ situations is confidence in your own financial choices. When you’re clear about and confident in your own goals and values, social pressure loses its grip. And remember, true friends want you to thrive and will compromise to ensure your friendship continues.”
Will ‘friendflation’ stick around in today’s economy?
Coady expects friendflation to stick around unless some countertrends take hold – more financial transparency, social norms that value budget sophistication, more intentional planning.
Eventually, people will hit “saturation,” he said, adding there’s only so many dinners and trips you can sustain before the trade-offs become impossible to ignore.
But Coady sees an opportunity in all this. When managed well, ‘friendflation’ becomes a sign of maturity. “The people who dominate wealth-building aren’t those who avoid social life; they’re those who socialise on their terms,” Coady said.
For expats in places like Dubai or London, Coady said the question becomes clear: “Do you want to be known as someone who kept up with appearances, or someone who built legacy while still having meaningful connections?”
“‘Friendflation’ is lifestyle FOMO (Fear of missing out) meeting tap-to-pay. You don’t need cheaper friends; you need clearer boundaries,” he concluded.
